What are they waiting for?!

I have seen marvels beyond my imagination during my lifetime.

I have traveled over the clouds in potent birds of steel. I have become one with all the nerds in the world thanks to the internet. I have had lasers shot at my face to heal and not vaporize my eyes. I have had entire orchestras playing inside a device that fits in my pocket.

SO WHERE THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS?:

- Something that'll help people park inside a painted square.
- Bottlecaps that won't break my fingers in the cold winter.
- A comic that'll automatically sensor if the reader's an adult and show (female only) nipples.
- A GPS that'll point me towards true love.

Perhaps I will see these things in the 80-something years I have left, assuming I don't die in a way that'll assure a violent revenge.